One morning, Lesha woke up with the feeling that something had to change drastically. Otherwise, he simply wouldn’t be able to endure it.
He was afraid to think about how things would end if he continued living with this woman. His wife. The mother of his children.
The revelation came early — within the first six months of their marriage. That very Masha, whom he had thought of as gentle, light, almost angelic, started shedding her mask. And what Alexey saw underneath it, at first amused him, but then began to scare him.
Beneath her blonde head with large gray eyes and a meek smile, there was a completely different girl — calculating, harsh, indifferent to everything except herself.
He began to realize this gradually. Not at once, but through small, seemingly insignificant situations that seemed to scratch his soul.
The first warning bell was barely audible, almost amusing. What seemed cute quickly turned into an alarming signal.
Like, for example, the morning after their wedding. He, as usual, made coffee, added sugar — the way he liked it. He handed his beloved a cup with the hot drink and a warm smile:
«Here, darling… just how you like it.»
«I can’t stand sugar in my coffee,» she replied coldly. «You still haven’t remembered after all these months of dating?» And, without blinking, she poured the drink into the sink.
Lesha stood holding his cup, unable to understand: why did it hurt him? Why did he suddenly feel awkward about his gift?
The next incident left not a laugh, but a small crack in his soul. It happened about two weeks after the wedding.
Masha insisted that he go with her to a café to meet her friends.
«I’ll just sit there, listen,» he told himself. «She still wants me to be there.»
But at the café, a regular girls’ night out started, which suddenly changed his perception. At one point, Masha laughed and said:
«Imagine, he still thinks I have a ‘Kia’! I’ve told him a hundred times — it’s a ‘Jaguar’! But no, he still mixes up the brands. Classic!»
Her friends giggled. Alexey smiled, though inside, something painful clicked.
«Well, a mistake, it happens,» he tried to joke.
«It happens when a person doesn’t pay attention to the details,» one of them hummed.
«Or doesn’t care about what’s happening around them,» added another.
Masha looked at him with a smirk. She was enjoying herself. From the feeling of superiority. From his confusion.
Alexey remained silent. He just looked away. Later, at home, he asked:
«Why did you do that? It was unpleasant.»
«What exactly?» she asked playfully. «Did we laugh? It’s a joke, Lesha. You need to learn to laugh at yourself too.»
She approached, hugged him, kissed him — and he melted again. He hadn’t yet learned how to resist her charm. And didn’t know that in another six months, he would.
The further it went, the more Alexey became disillusioned. His romanticized idea of Masha was falling apart one piece at a time. And each time, he caught himself thinking: he didn’t recognize the woman he had pursued. The one he had built dreams for.
One day, he came home with a gift — a poetry book. A rare impulse, but at that moment, he wanted something warm, human, soulful.
«Here,» he handed it to his wife. «I got a bonus, and decided to get something for the soul.»
Masha sighed and took the book without much enthusiasm.
«Can I have the receipt?» she asked.
«Receipt?» Lesha didn’t immediately understand. «Why?»
«In case I decide to return it if I don’t like it.»
«This is my gift,» he said. «I thought you’d at least look at it with warmth.»
«I’m not obligated to,» she replied coldly. «Now we have a family. The focus should be on important things. Like the mortgage. Not poems.»
Lesha stared at her for a long time. Not at her face, not her lips, not her smile. But through all that — at the person he suddenly didn’t recognize.
He remembered the lyrics of an old song:
«I want to invent you today…
I want to invent you like a song…
So that I could envy myself…
So that you were better than everyone else…»
But the reality was something entirely different.
Another incident stayed in his memory forever.
They had just left a restaurant where they were celebrating some anniversary — it didn’t matter which one. He felt his gaze drawn to an old man sitting at the entrance. With an outstretched hand, in a worn-out coat, with sadness in his eyes. Alexey stopped:
«Masha, do you have some spare change? Let’s help him…»
«Beggars aren’t people, they’re weak,» she replied curtly. «Pity only multiplies them. Let’s go.»
She didn’t even turn around. He hesitated, looked at the old man, then at the back of his young wife. And followed her, but more slowly. As though an invisible gap had appeared between them.
It was then that he first thought:
«Who is this woman? Why did I tie my life to hers?»
This moment became a turning point. After that, the question arose more and more often:
«Why am I living with a stranger?»
After that incident near the restaurant, there were other «drops,» each of which should have been a reason to break up. But Alexey kept postponing it, as though he were waiting for something bigger. Or an excuse.
And then the children were born.
And he started hoping again: maybe now she would change? Maybe the marriage would gain meaning? Masha would become a wife, not just a stranger in the house?
But nothing happened. As the years passed, it only got worse. He lived in a family on paper, but inside, he felt lonelier than before meeting her.
Almost twenty years passed.
And one day, Lesha realized: there wasn’t as much time left as he had hoped. His health had failed. And with it — his life.
«I need to change something…» he thought. «I need to start a new chapter…»
But he kept living as before.
Even when his heart could no longer bear it.
The divorce was painful, but expected. Masha, as expected, had been playing her game for a long time. Money from their joint account disappeared long before the first court hearing — it had moved to her mother’s account. She also tried to take the apartment for herself, attacking with poisonous remarks:
«I knew you were weak… Only hysterics, not real women, hold onto every inch. You’re a man — you should just leave. No unnecessary scandals.»
«Then be a woman, not a hysteric,» Lesha replied, already learning how to fend off her attacks. «Don’t cling to the walls if your place is somewhere else.»
The apartment was sold. They truly parted ways.
But Masha managed to take almost three-quarters of the money — with documents she had prepared in advance. She referred to generous gifts from her mother, although Alexey knew the truth: not a penny had come from his mother-in-law to their family.
He was just amazed at how far they had both pretended.
And how far one of them had gone, leaving the other with empty hands.
Life after the divorce started over — in a small, rented apartment. Cozy, bright. Modern. He looked at his four walls and thought: «Damn, why didn’t I do this earlier?»
But now, he had to save up for his own place. But this was his choice. His chance.
He met his neighbor, Zhanna, on the third day after moving in. She ran into the elevator at the last moment, just before the doors closed. Her movements were swift, her voice cheerful, her gaze alive.
Lesha felt the smell of youth, freedom, lightness.
And in his head, he thought:
«Years have passed. Oh, how nice it was to be young.»
«Be careful, young lady,» he said, stepping out behind her. «You could lose your life that way. Elevators don’t tolerate rushing.»
She turned around.
And he froze.
First of all, the girl turned out to be a woman. About his age. Secondly, her face was… special. Her skin — rough, covered with small imperfections, her eyes — slightly off, her lips — barely noticeable, like a thread. All of it was striking, but not repulsive — strangely, it even intrigued him.
«I know,» she smiled. «But I’m always late. It’s my style.»
«Got it,» he replied, avoiding eye contact. «As they say, everyone has their own.»
That was their first meeting.
Soon, evening tea sessions became the norm. Over a cup of hot drink, they talked about everything: books, movies, life. Sometimes — just sat in silence, listening to music. And Alexey felt: there was someone around who didn’t pressure him, didn’t humiliate him, didn’t hurt him.
At first, they just communicated. Then they started to walk. A couple of strolls in the park, dinners in cafes, movies in theaters.
He no longer noticed her appearance. Inside Zhanna was a lively, warm, intelligent soul.
His friends, when they found out about her, immediately teased:
«Is that the kikimora you’re living with now?»
«No,» Lesha answered. «She’s my neighbor. Just Zhanna. Just a person with whom I feel at ease.»
«Well, if she’s rich, marry her. Solve all your problems in one go. You’re broke after Masha…»
This thought crossed his mind more than once.
Maybe he should? Maybe it would be easier?
He saw that Zhanna was drawn to him. She tried to stay close, didn’t judge him, didn’t provoke him. She was soft, attentive, caring.
He felt her warmth.
He understood she was waiting. Ready.
And one day, sitting at her place, he cautiously asked:
«Why are you still alone?»
Zhanna was silent for a moment. She looked him straight in the eyes.
«You see. I’ve just had bad luck.
But now, it seems, I’ve been lucky.»
He shuddered slightly. He wanted to say something but didn’t dare.
After a conversation with a friend and several visits to a jewelry store, the idea of proposing began to take shape. Lesha imagined a romantic dinner, a beautiful ring, words of love…
And he realized he couldn’t do it.
«Yes, it’s good with her,» he thought. «We understand each other, laugh, help. But…»
But to kiss her at the wedding. In front of everyone.
But to lie down with her in one bed.
But to kiss. Hug.
But to build a family.
He couldn’t.
Not because she was bad.
Just… her face still stopped him.
He wasn’t sure he could.
«Zhanna is a great person,» he kept repeating to himself. «But I can’t be with her the way she deserves.»
And he stayed silent.
And kept living next to her.
Without a relationship.
Without a marriage.
Just — like two neighbors who became close.
But one day, troubles hit Lesha one after another, as if fate itself decided to test his strength.
«Bad luck,» he thought, looking at the ceiling. «It’s okay, it’ll pass. It always passes.»
But the days went by, and the bad luck didn’t end. Either he had fallen too deep into it, or it was just the way the time was — but misfortune never came alone.
The first blow came from a mistake in calculations — small, almost technical. But the consequences turned out to be large-scale: an accident at the factory, casualties, an investigation.
And although Alexey wasn’t the only one at fault, he was singled out as the scapegoat.
Thank goodness there were no casualties. Otherwise, he would have been sentenced for sure. But this way — a demotion, loss of position, a sharp salary cut. And a moral burden — heavy as lead.
Soon after, the landlord informed him that rent would go up. As if all the troubles had conspired together.
Lesha sighed, set aside part of his meager savings… and still bought a ring. Even if it wasn’t for love, but with the thought of stability. He decided to propose to Zhanna.
She deserved more. But he hoped that over time, everything would change. That feelings would come.
«Marry me,» he said at the café, trying to sound confident. «We suit each other. I appreciate you. We have common interests, understanding. We can be together.»
Zhanna smiled slightly, sincerely, warmly:
«There’s nothing perfect in life, Lesha. But I agree. I’ve loved you for a long time… really.»
His heart froze. He realized: she knows. She had calculated everything. And still accepted him.
«Sorry,» he muttered. «I should have started with this… but back then, I just couldn’t say those words to you.»
«You didn’t say them,» she replied softly. «But I waited. And I knew that one day you would say them. I just didn’t expect you to shout it into the phone every night for a whole month…»
He blushed. Not because his conscience tortured him — but because he realized that his feelings were no longer fake. They had become real.
The application was submitted immediately. The ceremony was postponed for three months — Zhanna was going to study.
«I need to finish the course,» she explained. «I’ll come back right before the wedding. We’ll prepare online. Come on, Lesha, be patient.»
She left.
And he thought that relief would come with her departure. That it would be easier now that he could breathe a little, without pretending every day. But after a week, Lesha realized: he felt worse.
He missed her.
Her voice. Her scent. The way she laughed, listening to his stories.
Her silence, which was warmer than any chatter.
He realized: she didn’t need him as a neighbor or a friend.
She needed him as a man. As her beloved. As the person she wanted to always be with.
And when Zhanna finally returned, he couldn’t stand it:
«You’re back! My dear! I… I can’t live without you. I love you. I love you. For real. I wanted to marry you earlier, but I didn’t know I could love you this much.»
At the airport, he searched for her among the arriving passengers. He expected to see her familiar face, her familiar figure. But she wasn’t there. Just a long phone call, and then — the voice:
«I’m home. Come out.»
He ran out. And saw her. Completely different. Smooth skin, even features, eyes full of light. Lips — not a thread, but real, full, slightly smiling.
«It’s you?» he asked, stunned. «Is it really you?»
«Yes,» she laughed. «A little indulgence with my own money, Lesha. And a bit of modern medicine. Everything can be fixed if you have the desire.»
«But why didn’t you do this earlier?»
«I was waiting. For the man who would love me as I am. Without beauty, without a mask. With you, I realized: this person is you.»
He lowered his eyes.
«I proposed to you not out of love. I was disgusted with myself for that. I’m ashamed.»
«I know,» Zhanna took his hand. «I guessed. But you’ve changed. And I have too. Now we’re different. Together.»
«Just as we are,» he whispered.
Months have passed since then. They lived simply. Without any pretense. Without romantic gestures from TV shows. But with warmth inside.
He learned to kiss her without fear. To hug without internal resistance. To love — without looking back.
And one evening, sitting on the balcony, he said:
«You’re my good luck. After the bad. After Masha. After the destruction. After the mistakes. You’re my new start.»
Zhanna placed her head on his shoulder.
«And you’re my old, lost chance. And my new one — at the same time.»
They no longer rushed. But now they knew the most important thing:
It’s not the perfection of the face that makes a person beautiful. It’s the sincerity of feelings.
